I think every year we are plagued to have some weird bird story. “Only at your house” is what Tyler says. I guess so. I suppose you would like an explanation.

Early on in March Dave got up before me (as usual) to get ready for work. I normally don’t notice at all when he does this, but I was kind of out of it that morning because Haley still isn’t sleeping the best. So in my very half awake state I hear a loud BANG! on the front door, and I mildly wonder why Dave is slamming doors so early in the morning. Not just a few minutes later he comes to bear the bad news. A bird has flown into the door and he thinks it has died. But what makes it even more odd is that the bird was already in my house.

These birds have built a nest in our dryer vent, and once a year one of them will wander aimlessly down the vent and fall behind our dryer. I can’t imagine what even appeals to them to head down a dark dreary hole away from the sunlight, but it happens. Eventually they will peck their way out of our vent and begin to fly around in the house. It can be very scary to wake up and have a bird fly at your head when you least expect it.

Anyway, so Dave is getting clothes out of the dryer when he sees this bird sitting in the back of the laundry room staring at him. I have to give him props, as I would have yelled my head off and woken the entire family up, but he just calmly went to the front door and held it open expecting the bird to just fly merrily on its way. He hadn’t really thought about what he was wearing, but let’s just say it wasn’t neighborhood friendly, and our neighbors were starting to come out of their houses on their way to work. So he shuts the screen door so he can go put on some more clothes, and that’s the moment that STUPID BIRD decided to try and escape. He flew right into the glass like a bad ad for windex.

Dave was hoping that it had merely knocked itself unconscious since it was twitching a little when he got back to it, then abruptly stopped moving. I’ve never seen anything twitch before suddenly passing out, so I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case, but thinking maybe it still had a chance. So Dave kindly used the cat litter scoop to place it in the garden hoping it would be gone when he came home from lunch.

That was one really dead bird when he came home a few hours later.